I was at Coles the other day looking for the shortest line at the checkout. A nearby granny with a walking frame was clearly doing the same. The red cardboard triangle that said ‘go away’ was taken off the conveyor of a nearby checkout as it opened for business. We looked at each other, the granny and I, and ran—more like waddle-rolled on her part—for the empty checkout.
Thanks to my superior athletic ability, I made it first, of course. I did the gentlemanly thing and congratulated her for trying hard and coming second. I also consoled her in her defeat by explaining that I truly deserved to go first because I was faster than she could ever dream of being. Letting her go first was non-sensical, I owned that spot and wasn’t sharing, I deserved it. She mumbled an incoherent reply which I’m sure was praising my fleetness of foot and enlightened reasoning.